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I'm actually caught up at work. Caught up until my check run on Tuesday and the monthly statements start piling up on my desk. It's the special projects that consume my time and energy. Booking the hotel for the Christmas party, moving our cell phones over to another company, coordinating the removal of the bees and the patching of our roof.
Oh, the bees. I feel rather bad. I've just sentenced them to death. I've hired a beekeeper to come in and kill them with his evil bee gas before sealing up the openings they are using to enter. If possible I would have let them live, but the owner of the building isn't so keen on them hanging around and the honey really is getting a bit disgusting when it pools on the floor in the upstairs hall. The last time I took my shoes off to relax I ended up stepping out into the hall and right into a pile of it. So, the death sentence will be carried out today at 5:30pm. I didn't volunteer to stay afterwards and unlock the office for the executioner. I have better things to do like...well, read and...read.
And while I am discussing random subjects... Payroll Girl swept into my office yesterday afternoon and asked me if I would like to change my life. Well, sure. Why not? I followed her down the hall into her office. As she sat down at her computer she warned me that the video I was going to view was extremely disgusting. She claimed that it had "freaked her out". She has a strong constitution. Nothing freaks her out. So I prepare myself for the worst. She logged onto her MySpace account and pulled up a friend's page. A video had been posted which depicted an act that I had never considered, but thought to be physically impossible. A man was inserting his *entire* head inside a woman's vagina. Yeah, you think I'm joking. No. Really, his entire head up to the mouth. And his head? Pretty big (but thankfully bald). Not only did he insert it, but he started some sort of thrusting motion before the video cut out. I can only assume it was a very hardcore (fetish?) porn video from another country because the dialogue and the subtitles were two different languages. Eww.
Oh, the bees. I feel rather bad. I've just sentenced them to death. I've hired a beekeeper to come in and kill them with his evil bee gas before sealing up the openings they are using to enter. If possible I would have let them live, but the owner of the building isn't so keen on them hanging around and the honey really is getting a bit disgusting when it pools on the floor in the upstairs hall. The last time I took my shoes off to relax I ended up stepping out into the hall and right into a pile of it. So, the death sentence will be carried out today at 5:30pm. I didn't volunteer to stay afterwards and unlock the office for the executioner. I have better things to do like...well, read and...read.
And while I am discussing random subjects... Payroll Girl swept into my office yesterday afternoon and asked me if I would like to change my life. Well, sure. Why not? I followed her down the hall into her office. As she sat down at her computer she warned me that the video I was going to view was extremely disgusting. She claimed that it had "freaked her out". She has a strong constitution. Nothing freaks her out. So I prepare myself for the worst. She logged onto her MySpace account and pulled up a friend's page. A video had been posted which depicted an act that I had never considered, but thought to be physically impossible. A man was inserting his *entire* head inside a woman's vagina. Yeah, you think I'm joking. No. Really, his entire head up to the mouth. And his head? Pretty big (but thankfully bald). Not only did he insert it, but he started some sort of thrusting motion before the video cut out. I can only assume it was a very hardcore (fetish?) porn video from another country because the dialogue and the subtitles were two different languages. Eww.
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*speechless*
eewwwwww...creepy...
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You should get PayrollGirl a *not work safe* T-Shirt for Christmas.
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