Color Me Gray

[anogete]

I feel overly emotional today for a couple different reasons. Although, when I really step back, it's a variety of reasons that I tend to lump together. I'm drained not so much physically as mentally. My day was upsetting from the beginning. I just feel so foul and pathetic and low. It really is a combination of things that brought this on and I can't seem to shake the feelings. I'm upset with myself for the most part, but others as well. No reason in particular - just a general feeling. I'm making no sense and I don't feel like telling the story of my day to get the general point across.

The drive home from work was very appropriately tuned to my mood. An inconsequential thunderstorm was brewing. It started out very subtly and by the time I was halfway home, the sky was gray from the wind blowing dust. No rain, no payoff. Just dust clogging the air. It felt like my mind.

I think I'm feeling sorry for myself, but there really is no need to. I feel like I want to cry, but there isn't anything wrong. Is this early PMS? That's not scheduled until next week.

By all accounts, I should be happy. I don't have to work tomorrow. We're off Monday as well. That's a four day weekend to do with as I will. I've been looking forward to the time off and some relaxation. Instead I'm being angst-ridden and pathetic.

Comments

[bleedtoblue.livejournal.com]

Well, hormones get my vote but you've had a stressful week or so! Have some chocolate.

Ah, dust storms, I don't miss them. I especially don't miss when the rain mixes with the dust and produces MUD BALLS!

You may be angst ridden but you aren't pathetic.

((((HUGS)))