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I just got a phone call from the past. I wanted to bang my head on the desk during the extremely long 5 minute call. It was a guy who I had considered maybe-sorta dating years ago. I haven't spoken to him in over a year and suddenly he calls me up at work. The entire conversation (if it can be called that) was incredibly uncomfortable. Why did I like him? Why? He's...just...(searching for a word here)...just not my type (if I do have a type). He's pretty much the opposite of everything I find attractive (mentally) and I fail to pin down the reason why I considered him in the first place. As much as it pains me to say it, I think it was because we played the little hard-to-get game. I was feeling coy and he gave me enough attention to tell me he was very interested, yet didn't fully persue me. And I did the same with him. The game was fun while it lasted, but he's just extremely incompatible with me. Extremely. I find nearly every word that comes out of his mouth to be highly annoying. I'm inarticulate today. I'm annoyed that he's interrupted my decent morning to pile his shit on me. Thank god he lives in New York and I live in New Mexico. Because I really don't care to see him or talk to him again. Distance is my friend. I sound like a bitch.
Last night was going to be spent reading, but I made a slight change of plans and ended up lying in the bedroom floor listening to music. I was feeling...______. Arg. Again with the inability to find a sufficient word to express my state at the time. So I was feeling _________ and needed something soothing, yet something that would also stir some emotion. I put in No More Shall We Part (Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds) and listened to "God Is In the House" twice because it soothes me without taking away that edge. Then I floundered around for a bit because I couldn't find something else to listen to. I ended up popping the new Elvis Costello CD (Delivery Man) in. I find that I always go back to three voices when I need musical comfort. Elvis Costello. Nick Cave. Art Alexakis (Everclear). It's like slipping into a familiar terroritory that knows you well.
So, I spent some time with Elvis. When the CD ended I reached for Brand New for some odd reason. I didn't exactly like Your Favorite Weapon, but on a lark I downloaded and burned Deja Entendu (mainly for the astounding cover art, I think). And oh my, is that album a masterpiece. A masterpiece of the darker side of sex and using people (whether you know you are using someone or not). I listened to the entire thing while staring at the ceiling and became extremely miffed when I realized that a couple of the songs has blips in them, no doubt from the downloading process. And a couple of the songs cut off early. Guess I should have listened to them fully before burning them.
When I arrived at work this morning there was a 25% off coupon waiting in my e-mail from Borders. I took this as a sign. The powers that be are telling me that I should go buy this CD because I surely need a perfect copy of such a masterpiece in my collection. To compound this twist of fate in my favor, they're having a "working lunch" today in the office. I managed to wiggle my way out of attending this working lunch, but to do so I had to offer to go pick up the food. The other two girls can't because I'm the only one with a company credit card. I can easily happen to drop by Borders and find the CD before picking up the trays of disgusting barbeque.
Last night was going to be spent reading, but I made a slight change of plans and ended up lying in the bedroom floor listening to music. I was feeling...______. Arg. Again with the inability to find a sufficient word to express my state at the time. So I was feeling _________ and needed something soothing, yet something that would also stir some emotion. I put in No More Shall We Part (Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds) and listened to "God Is In the House" twice because it soothes me without taking away that edge. Then I floundered around for a bit because I couldn't find something else to listen to. I ended up popping the new Elvis Costello CD (Delivery Man) in. I find that I always go back to three voices when I need musical comfort. Elvis Costello. Nick Cave. Art Alexakis (Everclear). It's like slipping into a familiar terroritory that knows you well.
So, I spent some time with Elvis. When the CD ended I reached for Brand New for some odd reason. I didn't exactly like Your Favorite Weapon, but on a lark I downloaded and burned Deja Entendu (mainly for the astounding cover art, I think). And oh my, is that album a masterpiece. A masterpiece of the darker side of sex and using people (whether you know you are using someone or not). I listened to the entire thing while staring at the ceiling and became extremely miffed when I realized that a couple of the songs has blips in them, no doubt from the downloading process. And a couple of the songs cut off early. Guess I should have listened to them fully before burning them.
When I arrived at work this morning there was a 25% off coupon waiting in my e-mail from Borders. I took this as a sign. The powers that be are telling me that I should go buy this CD because I surely need a perfect copy of such a masterpiece in my collection. To compound this twist of fate in my favor, they're having a "working lunch" today in the office. I managed to wiggle my way out of attending this working lunch, but to do so I had to offer to go pick up the food. The other two girls can't because I'm the only one with a company credit card. I can easily happen to drop by Borders and find the CD before picking up the trays of disgusting barbeque.
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From:
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I did notice the terrible problem you are having expressing yourself. lol...you know, sometimes there just aren't words for it even if you have Webster at your fingertips. Aaarrgggh is pretty meaningful.
Borders... a discount...missing lunch with your co-workers...the day got better.
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As for the ______ feeling, I wish I could help. But I've had some of it myself lately. Remain optimistic though! ______ can become !!!!! quicker than you think!
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Hopefully we'll both get out of our music funks soon.
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