Interwebs Warz (aka Amanda is a Wench)

[anogete]

I was feeling childish yesterday, and I responded to a post on Craigslist. Originally, someone made a post, asking if anyone in the area would be interested in starting a book club. They subject line of the post was, "Book Club!" Nothing seemed amiss with the post, and it came across as being from a reasonably intelligent and thoughtful person. A couple hours later, someone responded to the original post with this:

Book Club?
I would question the posting of anyone who puts an exclamation point at the end of the heading "Book Club."

For those interested in reading quality literature, let me give you a prediction as to what this group will be about: they will read exclusively from Oprah's List (which means basically crap), they will be married women who will talk about what they are reading for about 10 minutes, and then spend the rest of the evening bitching about their husbands.

The idea of an intellectually stimulating book club in Albuquerque is ridiculous.

I found the entire post condescending and annoying, as if the poster was obviously the only person in this city capable of the high art of literature appreciation. Whatever. So, I e-mailed the anonymous person with this:

Book Club! (yes, with an exclamation)
Jaded much? I'm not the original poster, nor am I interested in joining a book club, but I did feel compelled to respond to your snotty remark. I would think someone who is passionate about literature would applaud any sort of book club foray by any interested party. We do want people to read more books, right?

Oh, and I'm sorry you're hanging out with people who don't read. There are plenty of people in this city who have excellent taste in literature and a critical mind to evaluate novels. If you climb off your high horse long enough, you might realize that.

~Amanda

I have no idea why I did this. I usually don't bother. This popped up in my e-mail box after lunch:

Re: Book Club! (yes, with an exclamation)
You're a moron

I couldn't let that go. I had to respond.

Re: Book Club! (yes, with an exclamation)
Your masterful prose is oh-so-eloquent. I can tell straight off that you are extremely well-read. Of course, I understand that punctuation marks are beneath you, so why bother with those, eh? You should start a book club to school us all on the art of reading quality literature. Perhaps you could have your favorite bookstore in Albuquerque host it? If you're unfamiliar with bookstores, let me know. I'm sure I could come up with a few suggestions.

~Amanda

And now this just popped up in my inbox:

Excalamation* points are a sign of hysteria
Wench, stop troubling me with your feminine drivel. Go back to your Tom Robbins
and let a man be.

I have never known anyone named Amanda who is not a skinny-lipped virgin
consumed with her own dreadful tales of tragedy.

The Count Baron Von Holstein

Oh, I love it! Wench! Feminine drivel! Skinny-lipped virgin! Ha! I need to come up with some tales of tragedy so I don't disappoint. Poking people on the internet can be such fun. I just sent The Count another message sure to provoke a response.

*I left his misspelling of exclamation in for accuracy.

Comments

[bleedtoblue.livejournal.com]

Ah, the power of punctuation. And spelling.

[falco-conlon.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, but anyone who signs an email "The Count Baron Von cow breed Holstein" is clearly the virgin in this encounter.

Excalamation? HE R SMART

[ladybirdington.livejournal.com]

Internet fights are love.

[shehops.livejournal.com]

Yes, the exclamation point is a dead giveaway to the type of book that book club will be reading. Because you're not allowed to get excited about Quality Literature. It's serious business. You read it for the same reason you flog yourself with cat-o-nine-tails- to mortify the soul. *mutter*

[xenocia.livejournal.com]

Hi there :)

I've been reading your fanfiction pieces on Pomme de Sang, and I liked them so much I thought I'd check out your livejournal. You seem to like to read so if you have some spare time you should check out the Kushiel's Legacy series by Jacqueline Carey. No vampires, but love in its many forms and exquisitely written. I think you might like it if you haven't read it already.

Best of luck to you and thanks for writing all the Edward/Anita fics :D

[anogete.livejournal.com]

Hello! I'm glad that you like my ABVH stuff! I haven't written anything in that fandom for ages, but I still have a soft spot for it since it was one of my first fandoms. Plus, Anita/Edward is always be one of my favorite pairings ever. They're just too perfect for each other.

As for the Kushiel novels - great minds must think alike because I've already read them. :-) I haven't read her most recent trilogy that follows Imriel (sp?), but I have the first two, and I do plan on reading them in the near future. Have you checked out her other two novels Godslayer and Banewreaker? They go together and tell the story of the dark side in a LoTR sort of tale. I thought they were gorgeous, though some of her fans didn't think all that much of them.

[xenocia.livejournal.com]

I had hoped that LKH would come around and do a pairing with Edward/Anita early on, but the way the series is going now I don't really see it happening :( Edward just isn't the sharing type, and Anita is coming way too far from who she used to be :/

I really enjoyed both Godslayer and Banewreaker though! The Imriel series was also very good. The first book is a little slow in my opinion, but the last two are possibly my favorites of all her books.

edit: Oh! I feel completely the same way you do about the Twilight series. I have many of the same concerns but enjoyed the books overall.