Crap

I was going to make this post about my excitement over Greg Dulli's new projects...the upcoming albums, the DVD of the Twilight Singers' tour, blah-de-blah-de-blah. But it just wouldn't represent my mood.

Anxiety is back full force and it feels like this persistent weight on my chest, like I'm barely holding my sanity by a string. One false move and I could tumble off the ledge. I was sitting at my desk this morning and realized that I had started crying. Silently crying, but crying. And the most disturbing thing was that I couldn't figure out when it had started. I think there is definitely something wrong with me. Some wire has been switched in my brain to make me act like this. I couldn't even finish this paragraph without going to the restroom to calm myself. I know what is wrong, I just can't seem to fix it.

Fuck feeling this way. All I need to do is breath in and breath out and everything will be better. I'm being irrational and pathetic. Everything will be fine and I worry over everything which turns into nothing.

Mmm...Greg Dulli

So, about that journal entry that I scrapped this morning... I finally got myself under control enough to be excited about it again. Behold...

Why I adore Greg Dulli:

Dulli: Most of our shows are 50% female, if not more. Going to see those punk rock shows, it was all guys. I don't wanna play that. Who wants to play for a sausage factory? I wanna play for the ladies. Interviewer: Well this would help your chances of getting laid. Dulli: I'm sure it did. But I'm also a student of Marvin Gaye. So that probably didn't hurt either.

And then the article I read that nearly gave me an orgasm.

"The one I'm working on now is the most ambitious record I've ever tried to do, in terms of sound, and content and the particular tale I'm weaving this time around," he begins. "It is fucking frightening. It's called Period Rush. I actually read this book called Confederates in the Attic: Dispatches from the Unfinished Civil War, and this guy meets these Civil War re-enactors who describe a feeling called "period rush" which they immerse themselves in another time and culture, and they get high off of it. I'm very fond of minding the past, and I'm basically going to start in the '70s and work my way back to the '30s. It's all original material, but I'll put it to you this way, I've got a veritable music library in my home -- and I'm studying for finals." Dulli has just returned from Europe, where he finished producing a record by the Italian band After Hours. The Gutter Twins, a side project with Mark Lanegan (whose voice can be heard all over She Loves You), and two proposed covers follow-ups; She Loves Me and She Loves Me Not, the latter of which Dulli says "Will plumb the depths of depravity that even I've never checked out. It's scheduled to be a posthumous release. I do that record the way I want to do it -- it'll kill me." Add that to a DVD from the last Twilight Singers tour, for which Dulli, "Can't tell you much, cause it's kind of a surprise. It's got a kind of whenever release date...I like to keep things kind of loosey goosey," and the imminent release of the much talked about, shrouded in mystery Amber Headlights; a record recorded in full just after the Afghan Whigs broke up. "Amber Headlights is gonna come out," Dulli promises. "I think I'm probably just going to put it on my site, and sell it to the people who actually want it, instead of going through some sort of major ordeal. It's a fucking cool record. Some of it was songs I had written for the Whigs to play and we never did, but they're done a bit mournfully in this case."

Yes, yes, YES!