Crap

[anogete]

I was going to make this post about my excitement over Greg Dulli's new projects...the upcoming albums, the DVD of the Twilight Singers' tour, blah-de-blah-de-blah. But it just wouldn't represent my mood.

Anxiety is back full force and it feels like this persistent weight on my chest, like I'm barely holding my sanity by a string. One false move and I could tumble off the ledge. I was sitting at my desk this morning and realized that I had started crying. Silently crying, but crying. And the most disturbing thing was that I couldn't figure out when it had started. I think there is definitely something wrong with me. Some wire has been switched in my brain to make me act like this. I couldn't even finish this paragraph without going to the restroom to calm myself. I know what is wrong, I just can't seem to fix it.

Fuck feeling this way. All I need to do is breath in and breath out and everything will be better. I'm being irrational and pathetic. Everything will be fine and I worry over everything which turns into nothing.

Comments

[chaosdragon.livejournal.com]

maybe you should go talk to someone and see what the source of the anxiety is.

[donttouchmyhat.livejournal.com]

::embraces::

And echoing Chaos D...talking with someone might be a good idea. :)

[anogete.livejournal.com]

Are you hinting that I should call you? I'm going to talk you up on that offer. ;-)

[donttouchmyhat.livejournal.com]

Ha! I actually started out with more benign and kindly intentions. But yes. Yes I am.

[anogete.livejournal.com]

Shall I use my normal voice or my phone sex voice?

[donttouchmyhat.livejournal.com]

I thought they were one and the same....

[anogete.livejournal.com]

Oh, no...the phone sex voice is much more breathy with a moan or two every now and again. There are also dirty words involved in there somewhere.

[donttouchmyhat.livejournal.com]

Ahhh. And the difference again, is...? ;)

Perhaps there should be two separate calls. One at the decent hour, one at a more, um, indecent hour.

[anogete.livejournal.com]

Me? Indecent calls at indecent hours? I would never do such a thing...
;-)

[donttouchmyhat.livejournal.com]

Even if you were, er, provoked? ;)

[anogete.livejournal.com]

Are you thinking of provoking me?

[donttouchmyhat.livejournal.com]

I am now.

::poke::

[anogete.livejournal.com]

Careful...I'm ticklish.

[donttouchmyhat.livejournal.com]

Is that so? Well what if I poke you...here? Or here?

Here?

[anogete.livejournal.com]

That last spot feels rather nice. ;-)

[donttouchmyhat.livejournal.com]

In that case let me poke it again.

And again.