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I've been looking for fic centering around or featuring Jarlaxle, a character from many of R.A. Salvatore's novels. I found several on AFF.net.
I wish some authors who write sex scenes would have a bit more patience when writing them. Otherwise, the scenes just come off as really frickin' clumsy and embarrassing. The example I'm about to give isn't from a fantastic story, but the sex was just... bad.
Taken from Dark Elven Beauty by LadyTorte
"Gi xa lerg s'xor ol!" He called out. ( drow word for yeah baby suck it) Slowly pumping his dick in and out of her mouth. But he lost patience. He had to cum. He wanted to. Inside of her. So he gently pried her mouth off him. And within one movement pinned her upon her back. And lifted her legs over one shoulder and entered her again,she was so wet. The hard he fucked her. the louder she cried out as she came. Jarlaxle came with her. And collasped on top of her.
Okay, I just wrote a fic (still untitled) using Jarlaxle. I gave him some lines in his native tongue (drow). I did not denote what he was saying in parenthesis after he said it. If you can't fit it into the dialogue naturally, then put it as a footnote at the bottom. My other peeve is I sincerely dislike when 'come' is spelled as 'cum'. Ick. I can't even make sense of the punctutation after that bit. And to top it all off, the author amended her story summary after posting this chapter to tell everyone that "the fuck chapter" had been uploaded. Right... I feel bad for poor Jarlaxle. I feel as if the author has raped him. ::pets Jarlaxle's head::
If any of my sex scenes come off that way, I trust that one of you will smack me until I come to my senses.
I wish some authors who write sex scenes would have a bit more patience when writing them. Otherwise, the scenes just come off as really frickin' clumsy and embarrassing. The example I'm about to give isn't from a fantastic story, but the sex was just... bad.
Taken from Dark Elven Beauty by LadyTorte
"Gi xa lerg s'xor ol!" He called out. ( drow word for yeah baby suck it) Slowly pumping his dick in and out of her mouth. But he lost patience. He had to cum. He wanted to. Inside of her. So he gently pried her mouth off him. And within one movement pinned her upon her back. And lifted her legs over one shoulder and entered her again,she was so wet. The hard he fucked her. the louder she cried out as she came. Jarlaxle came with her. And collasped on top of her.
Okay, I just wrote a fic (still untitled) using Jarlaxle. I gave him some lines in his native tongue (drow). I did not denote what he was saying in parenthesis after he said it. If you can't fit it into the dialogue naturally, then put it as a footnote at the bottom. My other peeve is I sincerely dislike when 'come' is spelled as 'cum'. Ick. I can't even make sense of the punctutation after that bit. And to top it all off, the author amended her story summary after posting this chapter to tell everyone that "the fuck chapter" had been uploaded. Right... I feel bad for poor Jarlaxle. I feel as if the author has raped him. ::pets Jarlaxle's head::
If any of my sex scenes come off that way, I trust that one of you will smack me until I come to my senses.
