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It's Like a Fandom Powder Keg
Mentioning the Twilight series seems to elicit strong responses. So many people love and/or hate the novels. So many other fandoms have been overrun with Twilight fans trying to convert unwilling people to the dark side. I went into Twilight with a bad impression, but with a determination to give the books a fair shake. Actually, part of me wanted to like them just so I could tell all the whiners to shove it. You know I like to swim upstream like that.
So, I’ve read all three novels. I’m certainly going to read the fourth in order to tie up the loose ends and put the series to rest in my mind with a conclusion. First and foremost, I want to say that I like the books. I like them a great deal. They aren’t high fantasy literature. They aren’t Frank Herbert or Guy Gavriel Kay or J.R.R. Tolkien. But, then again, they were never aspiring to be that. They’re books for teenage girls, and they certainly hit the mark, if you couldn’t tell by the book sales. I enjoyed reading them, and I might even consider reading a couple of the books a second time in the future. That being said, the books aren’t without weaknesses, and I do have some complaints. Most of those complaints are minor and not worth mentioning here.
But there is one complaint I have that is major. And, I’m going to post about it here even without having read the last novel because I’ve seen several quotes by Stephenie Meyer, and she seems to be closing the door on any hope that my complaint will be resolved and dealt with appropriately.
If you are reading this, I’m assuming you have read or are familiar with Twilight and the two books that follow. Bella is a teenager who has fallen in love with a vampire that attends her new school. His name is Edward, and he’s actually over a hundred years old, but passes for seventeen. Jacob is Bella’s best friend, a werewolf, and someone who helped her get through a very difficult time in her life. He is in love with Bella, and Bella loves him back, but she says that her love for Edward trumps her love for Jacob. Ahh, the love triangle. Classic. But I have a problem with it. Let me tell you what my problem is.
Oh, wait. First, let me clarify something so the fangirls don’t flog me or spit on me. I like Edward. Just as with everyone other character in those novels, I’ve had my ups and downs with him. But, as it stands right now, I like him. I think he’s a mature, stand-up sort of fellow. I think he wants the best for Bella, and I think he truly loves her. I also like Jacob. Again, Jacob and I have had our ups and downs, but he’s my favorite character in the series. He’s got his faults, just like everyone else, but he’s too good of a character to dislike. I might even put him in my top ten favorite book characters ever. And that’s quite a statement coming from me. Bella… Well, I like Bella just fine, but I think she’s a typical teenage girl. She’s very immature and very strong-headed about many things. She’s proven herself to be selfish and naïve. That being said, I don’t dislike her. I just think that her flaws make her more human, more identifiable to readers. I also feel like I should say here that I ‘ship Bella and Jacob. I say this now just to be fair because anyone who reads this should know where I’m coming from. However, I do have a valid argument to back up my reason for ‘shipping those two.
Now that I’ve put up my disclaimer, I’d like to get to the meat of what I want to talk about: my problem with the love triangle.
Right now, I don’t have a problem with the love triangle. I think it was fantastically done. There is so much emotion wrapped up in it that I can’t breathe sometimes. All the mistakes, the hurt feelings, the selfish actions, the childish arguments - all of it is wonderful. I wanted to cry when Edward left Bella in New Moon, and I did cry when Bella shut poor Jacob down at the end of Eclipse.
Despite liking Edward, I have major problems with his and Bella’s relationship. The relationship was founded on Bella’s superficial attraction to Edward, and Edward’s desire to drink her extra yummy blood. Bella becomes completely obsessed with him in a completely unhealthy way. She has difficulty spending time without him, and finds that she doesn’t know what to do with herself when he isn’t around. This is not a good thing. Their power balance is unequal. Bella looks at him as untouchable and unmovable, while she is little-miss-wishy-washy. He holds all the strength and control in the relationship and she knows it. She fights against it at times, but never really wins; she always caves to his stronger (and sometimes wiser) will. Their relationship involves endless amounts of manipulation disguised as compromise. She is willing to give up her family and friends to be with Edward. This, to me, is a huge problem. If you look under “bad relationship” in the dictionary, you’d find a mention of the significant other making you give up family and friends. I know, he isn’t asking her to give up her family and friends, but she’s throwing them away for him. She’s putting all her eggs in one basket, and while that sounds romantic, it is a horrible thing to do. I’ve watched friends go through relationships like that, and they come out beat up and broken in the end. Beyond that, Bella feels as if she isn’t good enough for Edward. If you don’t feel you are good enough for your significant other, then you’ve got a huge, mondo relationship problem. In short, it’s the perfect example of a destructive, first-love sort of relationship. Girl falls head over heels for guy who isn’t right for her, and she throws away her life, interests, family, friends, everything to be with him forever. It’s childish, immature, and more obsession than love. That doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love him and he doesn’t love her. It just means that Bella cannot handle a relationship like that. She’s much to young and naïve to manage it and keep herself and her dignity intact.
Then Meyer creates another relationship for Bella. She doesn’t give us another love-at-first-sight like Edward, but she creates the relationship from the ground up with Jacob. After Edward leaves her, Bella spends months going through the motions, unable to enjoy her life. Finally, she begins hanging out with Jacob, a local boy who lives on a Native American reservation not far from her house. Jacob is a little over a year younger than her, but she enjoys being around him. He makes her feel better - even happy - for the first time in months. He’s open and friendly and adores her from the start. Over the space of several weeks, they become best friends. They learn and play together. It’s a natural start to a relationship, a from-friends-to-lovers sort of deal. Jacob does not ask anything of Bella, and Bella doesn’t feel as if she needs to give him anything other than herself. This is key. Edward’s never asked her for anything, either, but she does feel like she needs to give him more than just herself. Jacob’s discovery that he is a werewolf can’t break their friendship, despite the many obstacles. Even Edward’s reappearance in her life doesn’t tear apart her relationship with Jacob completely, though it does put a strain on it.
So, we’ve got Bella and her two fellows. One relationship in which she’s head-over-heels in love, but feels she doesn’t cut the snuff and feels as if she needs to change herself to be with her partner. The other relationship in which she can be herself at all times, but feels as if she isn’t as emotionally invested as the first. But she does love them both. Meyer has made it very clear that Bella is in love with Edward and Jacob. And if you doubt Bella’s feelings for Jacob, then the ending of Eclipse, in which she breaks down and sobs after “breaking up” with him should remedy that erroneous thought.
To me, this is very clear cut. Bella must make a choice between a destructive, unhealthy relationship and a normal, healthy one. Which would you choose? Well, if you’re a teenage girl with no experience with love or relationships, then you’d probably choose the flasher, dazzling vampire over the boy next door, even if the vampire came with a load of problems. If you’re more mature about this sort of thing, then you’d realize that entering into a relationship you don’t think you are worthy of is probably not a hot idea. You’d realize that forfeiting your life and your connections with family and friends is probably not a hot idea, either. We all know those are two traits of people in abusive relationships. (No, I don’t think Edward is abusive; this is about Bella, not him.)
At the end of Eclipse, Meyer had Bella tell Jacob that she was going to marry Edward. Bella tells Jacob that she loves him and can see a very happy future with him, but just cannot live without Edward. And to be with Edward, she feels that she must give up her life and everyone she knows. Then, in a recent interview, Meyer said that she was surprised people are still wondering if Bella and Jacob will end up together in the end. She said that “that ship has sailed” in regards to their relationship. She also alluded to the ending of the final novel as being very satisfying to the fans. Seeing as how the vast majority of fans love Bella and Edward together, I take this to mean that the two of them will be together in the end.
Herein lies my problem. I’m not one of those people who believe that every book needs to give the reader a moral lesson, but come on… This is ridiculous. Meyer is telling her readers (most of who are teenage girls) that it is okay to throw away your future, your life, your family, your friends, your interests FOR A BOY? For serious? No, really? I don’t care if Edward is the super perfect boyfriend who will love you forever and a day. If Bella can’t retain herself and be with him, then he’s unhealthy for her, regardless of what he does, feels, or thinks. Meyer is actually going to let these girls believe that a manipulative, unequal relationship based on physical attraction and lust is the right choice? It’s shameful, really. It’s like she wrote this beautiful study of relationships, and she didn’t even realize what she was doing. She’s going to give me a vapid, insipid love story in the end where the main character is going to throw all her common sense out the fucking window because she’s in love. I’ve been in love. I am in love. My feelings were and are strong. I cried for hours after leaving my boyfriend for two months during our long distance dating. I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I know what passionate, all-consuming love is. And I never for a second would give up my identity for him, even though I know without a doubt that I love him and want to spend my life with him.
So, yeah… that’s my problem. Stephenie Meyer is obviously too stupid to realize what she’s written. She’s going to tell all the little girls that throwing away their lives for someone is a-okay. Good job, girlfriend. Really.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe Breaking Dawn will discuss and resolve my concerns. But I really don’t think so. If Bella and Edward aren’t together forever at the end of the series, then all the fans will riot. Borders might be burned to the ground. But then it’d serve them right for charging me an arm and a leg for a paperback book.
So, I’ve read all three novels. I’m certainly going to read the fourth in order to tie up the loose ends and put the series to rest in my mind with a conclusion. First and foremost, I want to say that I like the books. I like them a great deal. They aren’t high fantasy literature. They aren’t Frank Herbert or Guy Gavriel Kay or J.R.R. Tolkien. But, then again, they were never aspiring to be that. They’re books for teenage girls, and they certainly hit the mark, if you couldn’t tell by the book sales. I enjoyed reading them, and I might even consider reading a couple of the books a second time in the future. That being said, the books aren’t without weaknesses, and I do have some complaints. Most of those complaints are minor and not worth mentioning here.
But there is one complaint I have that is major. And, I’m going to post about it here even without having read the last novel because I’ve seen several quotes by Stephenie Meyer, and she seems to be closing the door on any hope that my complaint will be resolved and dealt with appropriately.
If you are reading this, I’m assuming you have read or are familiar with Twilight and the two books that follow. Bella is a teenager who has fallen in love with a vampire that attends her new school. His name is Edward, and he’s actually over a hundred years old, but passes for seventeen. Jacob is Bella’s best friend, a werewolf, and someone who helped her get through a very difficult time in her life. He is in love with Bella, and Bella loves him back, but she says that her love for Edward trumps her love for Jacob. Ahh, the love triangle. Classic. But I have a problem with it. Let me tell you what my problem is.
Oh, wait. First, let me clarify something so the fangirls don’t flog me or spit on me. I like Edward. Just as with everyone other character in those novels, I’ve had my ups and downs with him. But, as it stands right now, I like him. I think he’s a mature, stand-up sort of fellow. I think he wants the best for Bella, and I think he truly loves her. I also like Jacob. Again, Jacob and I have had our ups and downs, but he’s my favorite character in the series. He’s got his faults, just like everyone else, but he’s too good of a character to dislike. I might even put him in my top ten favorite book characters ever. And that’s quite a statement coming from me. Bella… Well, I like Bella just fine, but I think she’s a typical teenage girl. She’s very immature and very strong-headed about many things. She’s proven herself to be selfish and naïve. That being said, I don’t dislike her. I just think that her flaws make her more human, more identifiable to readers. I also feel like I should say here that I ‘ship Bella and Jacob. I say this now just to be fair because anyone who reads this should know where I’m coming from. However, I do have a valid argument to back up my reason for ‘shipping those two.
Now that I’ve put up my disclaimer, I’d like to get to the meat of what I want to talk about: my problem with the love triangle.
Right now, I don’t have a problem with the love triangle. I think it was fantastically done. There is so much emotion wrapped up in it that I can’t breathe sometimes. All the mistakes, the hurt feelings, the selfish actions, the childish arguments - all of it is wonderful. I wanted to cry when Edward left Bella in New Moon, and I did cry when Bella shut poor Jacob down at the end of Eclipse.
Despite liking Edward, I have major problems with his and Bella’s relationship. The relationship was founded on Bella’s superficial attraction to Edward, and Edward’s desire to drink her extra yummy blood. Bella becomes completely obsessed with him in a completely unhealthy way. She has difficulty spending time without him, and finds that she doesn’t know what to do with herself when he isn’t around. This is not a good thing. Their power balance is unequal. Bella looks at him as untouchable and unmovable, while she is little-miss-wishy-washy. He holds all the strength and control in the relationship and she knows it. She fights against it at times, but never really wins; she always caves to his stronger (and sometimes wiser) will. Their relationship involves endless amounts of manipulation disguised as compromise. She is willing to give up her family and friends to be with Edward. This, to me, is a huge problem. If you look under “bad relationship” in the dictionary, you’d find a mention of the significant other making you give up family and friends. I know, he isn’t asking her to give up her family and friends, but she’s throwing them away for him. She’s putting all her eggs in one basket, and while that sounds romantic, it is a horrible thing to do. I’ve watched friends go through relationships like that, and they come out beat up and broken in the end. Beyond that, Bella feels as if she isn’t good enough for Edward. If you don’t feel you are good enough for your significant other, then you’ve got a huge, mondo relationship problem. In short, it’s the perfect example of a destructive, first-love sort of relationship. Girl falls head over heels for guy who isn’t right for her, and she throws away her life, interests, family, friends, everything to be with him forever. It’s childish, immature, and more obsession than love. That doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love him and he doesn’t love her. It just means that Bella cannot handle a relationship like that. She’s much to young and naïve to manage it and keep herself and her dignity intact.
Then Meyer creates another relationship for Bella. She doesn’t give us another love-at-first-sight like Edward, but she creates the relationship from the ground up with Jacob. After Edward leaves her, Bella spends months going through the motions, unable to enjoy her life. Finally, she begins hanging out with Jacob, a local boy who lives on a Native American reservation not far from her house. Jacob is a little over a year younger than her, but she enjoys being around him. He makes her feel better - even happy - for the first time in months. He’s open and friendly and adores her from the start. Over the space of several weeks, they become best friends. They learn and play together. It’s a natural start to a relationship, a from-friends-to-lovers sort of deal. Jacob does not ask anything of Bella, and Bella doesn’t feel as if she needs to give him anything other than herself. This is key. Edward’s never asked her for anything, either, but she does feel like she needs to give him more than just herself. Jacob’s discovery that he is a werewolf can’t break their friendship, despite the many obstacles. Even Edward’s reappearance in her life doesn’t tear apart her relationship with Jacob completely, though it does put a strain on it.
So, we’ve got Bella and her two fellows. One relationship in which she’s head-over-heels in love, but feels she doesn’t cut the snuff and feels as if she needs to change herself to be with her partner. The other relationship in which she can be herself at all times, but feels as if she isn’t as emotionally invested as the first. But she does love them both. Meyer has made it very clear that Bella is in love with Edward and Jacob. And if you doubt Bella’s feelings for Jacob, then the ending of Eclipse, in which she breaks down and sobs after “breaking up” with him should remedy that erroneous thought.
To me, this is very clear cut. Bella must make a choice between a destructive, unhealthy relationship and a normal, healthy one. Which would you choose? Well, if you’re a teenage girl with no experience with love or relationships, then you’d probably choose the flasher, dazzling vampire over the boy next door, even if the vampire came with a load of problems. If you’re more mature about this sort of thing, then you’d realize that entering into a relationship you don’t think you are worthy of is probably not a hot idea. You’d realize that forfeiting your life and your connections with family and friends is probably not a hot idea, either. We all know those are two traits of people in abusive relationships. (No, I don’t think Edward is abusive; this is about Bella, not him.)
At the end of Eclipse, Meyer had Bella tell Jacob that she was going to marry Edward. Bella tells Jacob that she loves him and can see a very happy future with him, but just cannot live without Edward. And to be with Edward, she feels that she must give up her life and everyone she knows. Then, in a recent interview, Meyer said that she was surprised people are still wondering if Bella and Jacob will end up together in the end. She said that “that ship has sailed” in regards to their relationship. She also alluded to the ending of the final novel as being very satisfying to the fans. Seeing as how the vast majority of fans love Bella and Edward together, I take this to mean that the two of them will be together in the end.
Herein lies my problem. I’m not one of those people who believe that every book needs to give the reader a moral lesson, but come on… This is ridiculous. Meyer is telling her readers (most of who are teenage girls) that it is okay to throw away your future, your life, your family, your friends, your interests FOR A BOY? For serious? No, really? I don’t care if Edward is the super perfect boyfriend who will love you forever and a day. If Bella can’t retain herself and be with him, then he’s unhealthy for her, regardless of what he does, feels, or thinks. Meyer is actually going to let these girls believe that a manipulative, unequal relationship based on physical attraction and lust is the right choice? It’s shameful, really. It’s like she wrote this beautiful study of relationships, and she didn’t even realize what she was doing. She’s going to give me a vapid, insipid love story in the end where the main character is going to throw all her common sense out the fucking window because she’s in love. I’ve been in love. I am in love. My feelings were and are strong. I cried for hours after leaving my boyfriend for two months during our long distance dating. I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I know what passionate, all-consuming love is. And I never for a second would give up my identity for him, even though I know without a doubt that I love him and want to spend my life with him.
So, yeah… that’s my problem. Stephenie Meyer is obviously too stupid to realize what she’s written. She’s going to tell all the little girls that throwing away their lives for someone is a-okay. Good job, girlfriend. Really.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe Breaking Dawn will discuss and resolve my concerns. But I really don’t think so. If Bella and Edward aren’t together forever at the end of the series, then all the fans will riot. Borders might be burned to the ground. But then it’d serve them right for charging me an arm and a leg for a paperback book.
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Side note: whenever Edward enters a scene, it feels like Steph Meyer's love for him bipasses Bella and onto the page. Is that crazy?
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I also agree that Meyers' love for Edward dwarfs Bella's.
That said, I must also say this. I love reading stories like this. I know that in real life it is wrong and unhealthy, but when I read a story with a compelling hero, I have no problem with the heroine throwing away *everything* to be with him. And that unequal thing? I have a hard time *caring*. In life, I know better, but in fiction, I have no problem with it. I like reading it, especially in SSHG stories. I have no problem with it, but it's because I have complete faith in the heroic characteristics of the hero. I'm guilty of writing him that way, and I love reading it. I just do.
*sigh*
I am Politically Incorrect.
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To put this a different way to me the problem is not so much who Bella will end up with but with the set-up of the books because they are geared towards teenage girls, and here I agree with you. I've no problem getting lost in a romance that fantasises about similar things, but in this series I'd prefer Bella to grow up a bit, and make a life for herself before she enters a serious relationship. The whole idea of getting married so early and giving everything up for it sounds to me very much like a very totally fantasy that I find problematic in a teenage book. Whatever happened to "try to be your own person and find out what want to do in life?"
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I love dreamy Edward... But for real life, I've had an experience like that. I also thought I wasn't worthy of the guy I was with.. I thought that he was so gorgeous that i couldn't compare. And he was sweet! He knew all of the right things to say and when to say them. But it started becoming this controlling relationship. He would complain when I would simply fix my hair or wear a nice outfit when I wasn't going to see him. He would tell me that my opinion on things didn't matter and such. He was extremely jealous of me being around my friends [male OR female].. My friends and family hated him. They saw through him when I didn't. They started to tell me that if I didn't get rid of him then they wouldn't talk to me. Essentially I had to pick him or my family/friends.
Then he leaves.. [or in my case cheats on you with your best friend]
Then comes Jacob. He's sweet but not sweet to where I have to question if he means it or not. He's real. He knows what I'm thinking without having any special powers. I can hang out with him any where and do anything and nothing. Just enjoying the comfort of each other's friendship. That's where I turned when something bad happened. I could tell him anything. He wouldn't tell me that I was stupid for my opinions unless he was joking. The more time I spent with him the more I unknowingly fell in love with him. And then one day it all falls into place, in one moment. It hit me, I loved him!
And now I'm engaged to my Jacob[aka Jarrod]. lol. It's odd.. but I had never compared my story to this one so fully. I never realized I had a perpetual Edward/Jacob thing. Yay! Jacob! lol.
But srsly, in a literary way, I love Edward Cullen. He's 'dazzling' and truly loves Bella. He really wants what is best for her because if he had his way, she would stay human. But he also would love her to be a vampy and that would mean that she could potentially lose her soul, her family, and all friends outside of the Cullens.
And Jacob, the sexy, outspoken Jacob. You can't possibly hate him. He's way too lovable even when he's being a jerk. lol. I ship Jacob/Bella because I know that in the series it won't happen, and he's too good of a character not to get Bella.
I also am left to wonder that if the tides would turn and she would end up human with two Quiluete kids, would I ship Edward/Bella?
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